If I were a rich man (or woman) ...

... I could build the house I want without cutting anything out!

But we're not rich.

So we come to decision-making time. Last Friday we met with the team to review the latest version of the plans, which include the things we added last time (when the plans already maxed out the new version of our budget). The plans look great! But they're WAY (as in $60k) out of our budget now, and that is the highest budget we can possibly manage and still pay the mortgage when all is said and done. There are already a few compromises, such as no walk-in closets and no walk-in pantry. I like walk-in closets because they keep the mess of clothes, shoes and accessories contained and out of the main bedroom -- and because when one of us gets dressed while the other is sleeping, we can keep the bedroom dark and quiet. You can't do that when the closet is one wall of the bedroom. However, walk-in closets are more chunky spaces to work with, and when we're trying to minimize the corners in the shell of the house they become very impractical. That was a compromise that hadn't crossed my mind, but I'm okay with it.

I also really wanted a walk-in pantry. I love the idea of having all the kitchen stuff contained in one space, and having a place for our second fridge that isn't in the garage. (With two growing, athletic boys, we go through a lot of food -- and I make several trips a day to the garage fridge to replenish supplies.) However, there is plenty of storage space for anything that would go in a pantry, and we can even build in unobtrusive space for the second fridge. I can live with this.

But these are fairly small compromises compared to what we'll have to do to get within our budget, and this is where we're going to struggle. We can't afford top-of-the-line finishes -- floors, counters, cabinets, fixtures -- which is okay also, as we weren't headed that direction anyway. We renovated our current house when we moved back from Korea in 2006 and we still like the basic fixtures we picked out then. (Thankfully, we're not thrilled with the granite counters and can look for a more reasonable option.) We don't need custom cabinets, but we need strong cabinets. That won't be too much of a sacrifice for us.

But that won't cut it, either. We need large-scale savings to meet our budget, and one option that Sam offered us is to leave some parts of the house unfinished for now, and finish them as our budget allows in the future. That had been the plan for the finishes, too: If we want to upgrade the counters or floors later, we could do that as budget allows. However, the parts left unfinished would be major: the garage would be a carport for now; the patio/deck would be much reduced, as would the outdoor storage under it; and our guest bedroom and bathroom would be a mere shell (no bathroom fixtures at all). The question is, are we willing to do that? Would it be better just to wait another year or so, until we can afford to build the whole house? We could chop off entire rooms, but what would be the point in building a house if it's not the house we actually want?

Today is Christmas Eve, and my parents are in town. Last night we showed them the plans, and today we took them up to the land. I hadn't been up there for a month or so, since we started sweating over the budget. It was a great refresher to wander around on a sunny winter day, listen to the peace and quiet (the neighbor's dogs were suspiciously absent) and remember why we want to build there. It's beautiful! Yes, it will be worth it. It'll be worth the trade-offs, including (I think) one that plagues me: leaving a friendly neighborhood where my kids (and I) can find someone to play with or chat with by simply walking out the door. It'll be worth the budget strain, including the ongoing tighter budget once we have our new mortgage.

Last night, after looking at the plans, my dad got a bit misty thinking about us building a house and reminiscing about when he and my mom built their house. He remembered how stressful it is, and how tense he was over the budget for about five years when there wasn't much breathing room with the new mortgage. And he talked about how happy he still is with their decisions and their house, and his hopes that we will be equally happy. I think I needed to hear that.

But that still leaves us with some hard decisions, unless Santa comes through with some cold, hard cash (or a winning Lottery ticket). I'm trying not to stress about it too much over the holidays, but I'm failing. It's a big deal -- big decisions, big sacrifices. What to do, what to do? 

Plans vs. Budget

Bryan and I have been discussing the layout of the house and the modifications we will have to make to our ideas to make this house affordable for us. I have had to give up on my desire to have both the master bedroom and the guest room on the main floor; that would make the upper floor quite a bit larger than the lower floor. One thing that will have a great impact on our cost is minimizing our roofline (the skin of the house is where the largest expense is), so to minimize our skin we need to make the two floors as similar in size as possible. After some thought, I've come to realize that having the master on the bottom (with the boys' bedrooms and the game room) and the guest room on the top (with the great room, kitchen, office and entries) would have benefits of its own -- if we do it right. For now, we could have our bedroom near the kids' rooms, which would be better for Cole for a couple more years, and when my parents visit they could stay on the main floor and not have to deal with stairs. (To be clear, they can manage stairs, but I don't want them to have to manage stairs.) Then, when Bryan and I are older and less able to get around well (much, much older, of course), we can move upstairs to the guest room and live comfortably on just that one level. However, to make that work we would need the guest room to be essentially a second master -- which makes it bigger. Which adds more square footage.

Last Thursday we met with Sid, Rick and Sam at the Hammer and Hand offices to discuss our plans. We hammered out (ha ha!) some of the basic concepts for our plans: Extra storage space built into the hill (north) side of the downstairs area (we need as much storage as possible, and hate to waste that potential space), bedroom sizes, adding an upstairs powder room, adding a pantry with room for a second fridge (we have hungry, growing boys and athletes in the house!), and the need for a real, actual office, as opposed to a nook. In addition, Bryan had sketched out some thoughts on an entry that's shared by both the front door and the garage access -- a way to access the mudroom from both entries, to minimize our piles of shoes and coats -- and we discussed that at length. All in all, the things we discussed will probably add at least an extra 100 square feet or so to the house, which of course will increase the cost. And this is on top of the fact that, as the plans stood last week, we were at our maximum budget and hadn't included paving the driveway or purchasing the appliances.

As we discussed the plans, we repeatedly mentioned the furniture that some of these rooms will be built around. We spent ten years in Asia, and during our six years in Indonesia we acquired quite a few large, teak pieces of furniture, as well as a few very cool pieces of hanging art. One piece of furniture is a huge desk, which is part of the reason we need an actual office. (But also because: 1. Bryan needs a place for his stuff, too, and therefore the office needs room for two people; and 2. I need to be able to close a door to keep the "Moooommmm!!" at bay while I balance the bank statements and buy Christmas presents online.) Although Sid and Sam have been to our current home and seen this furniture, Rick has not. We realized that it would be helpful if Rick could actually see all this furniture to cement the style and scope of our belongings in his mind. Since he wasn't able to make it out to our home this past week, I sent him photos of many of our furniture pieces (as well as some hanging artwork, for reference) with dimensions. Rick says he hopes they'll look like "little toys" on the plans. I can't wait to see it!

Partway through the meeting Skylar joined us to discuss the computer models of the solar options on our site. His job has been to run our site through his computer modeling and see what our solar gain is as the site stands currently and with various amounts of tree removal. Not surprisingly, our best bet for a low-energy, passive-style, southern-exposure, bright (which I need) house is to remove quite a few trees directly south of our build site. We understand this and even agree with it, but we're also battling our inner tree-hugging tendencies. We hate to take out trees! Thankfully, there are plenty of trees on our land and there's no need for all-out clearing -- but still we struggle with it.

Things are definitely coming together, and I'm getting more and more excited about our potential house. I'm relieved that our furniture and other art will be considered in the plans -- I want to make sure that we have good placement for at least the major items. Of course, the huge consideration now is the budget: We were pretty much over budget at the beginning of the last meeting, and we only added expense at that time. We did agree that we could take space from the really big great room and use that for the office and pantry, because although we want space for the extended family in the great room, we also don't want it to feel cavernous when there are only the four of us. (And, realistically, when the whole family is at our house, chances are good that the kids will be mostly downstairs anyway.) One of my jobs before our next meeting on Friday is to go over the budget again and figure out what is really possible. Naturally, when we returned home from our meeting last week and I looked at my budget notes I couldn't remember what I was doing, so I'll be re-crunching the numbers from the beginning. A call to our lender may be in order ...

Our next meeting is set for Friday the 16th, and I can't wait to see the plans. Of course, my very realistic fear is that our budget won't mesh with new plans -- I just hope the guys have some great ideas to make it work!

Let the plans begin!

In balmy 35-degree weather, we met Sam, Graham Wright (an expert on solar energy and characteristics),  Rick and Sid at the land this morning. Graham's purpose today was to evaluate the solar properties of our build site and help us quantify how much solar gain we can expect from the property as it is, and what to expect it to be if we remove some trees. Rick and Sid brought three iterations of potential house plan, varying slightly in size and layout. We compared the potential plans to the now-visible potential build site. As it turns out, the flat part at the top of the ridge is pretty narrow, which affects the way we will build the garage, and the best site seems to be as far east as we're allowed to go (the restrictions on the land prohibit us from building closer than 200 feet from the eastern property line). It was great to be able to actually see what we were doing, and we all agreed that the house site became very obvious with all the obstructive brush removed. We could envision a patio with a beautiful, peaceful view, and our pros paced out where the main floor would be and where we'd likely dig in for the daylight basement. My mental picture is coming together, and the more clearly I see what we're heading for, the more thrilled I am.

We will have to make some hard decisions, though. One of them is removing some of the trees. I love trees and I hate to take any down, but there are strategic areas where we could get potentially significant solar gain (and a stunning view) by removing the sun-blocking trees. Fortunately, we have lots of trees on all sides of us, and the view beyond the trees in question is of even more trees in the valley below -- a more beautiful view than the trees themselves. One option that Sid mentioned is to limb up the trees first, to see if that makes enough of a difference, before committing to removing them. That would be more palatable, though I don't think it's realistic for all of them; we will need to thin the stand at the least. Fortunately, we have time to digest this and consider the best course of action for us.

Another hard decision is what we will sacrifice in our house. We just don't have the funds to build as completely energy-tight (passive house) as we would like for the size we're looking at. We could save money by splitting our house equally between downstairs and upstairs, but the fact is that we want much more of the house on the main level than on the lower level. We have much to discuss!

The team discusses the possibilities of the site and placement of the house and yard.

Graham sets up his solar-measuring tool.

The reflections of the trees show how much light they block; the grid inside shows how much solar we get get at each angle throughout the year. With this tool, we can measure our expected solar gain and see the effect of the trees. We can take this information and balance it with how we build and what we want, to help us decide how and what to build.

This is where the clearing of the well road ended earlier this week; now you can see the road turns to the right, where the well actually is.

To the left, the well; straight ahead, the front of the property.

The fork to the well.

The well is clear!

I can see clearly now ...

I just learned that poison oak can take up to a week to emerge, depending on the sensitivity of the skin, so I could yet find out that I have more spots. Oh no! Crossing my fingers ... .

Today the land is being cleared. The difference is unbelievable! We can actually see the ground! The clearing wasn't complete when I was there (they were still working on the bushes between the build site and the stand of firs), so I'll go back tomorrow to see what additional progress has been made at that point. I'm glad I went, though: They cleared part of the well road, but stopped when the tractor (with a brush hog on the back) couldn't get any further. Fortunately, I got there before they were finished because I was able to show one of the guys approximately where the well is and explain to him that we need to be able to get to it. They also had a backhoe with a thumb (and treads) on site, so he said he would try to get through with that. If that doesn't work, he said he can come back with bigger equipment. He also said that they do excavation, too, so it's likely that we'll see them again when it's time to dig the foundation. Too bad I didn't introduce myself properly and get his name. Hopefully I'll remember my manners next time.

Standing near the front of the land, looking in toward the build site. 

From the entrance to the property, looking toward the build site (east). 

Clearing the land with the tractor.

The newly cleared well road.

The end of the well-road clearing. 

From near the entrance to the property, looking over the build site.

From the build site, looking back toward the entrance to the property.

Itchy, itchy ...

Well, damn. I don't mind the cuts and the splinters, but I am really not enjoying the poison oak. I was crouching so low through those bushes the other day that I managed to get it on my neck and even a little on my face (though I think I probably spread it to my face by scratching before I knew I had it). Itchy, itchy, try not to scratchy, scratchy ... . The last time I had poison oak was this summer (after exploring the land with a potential designer/builder, I believe), and I just had a little patch on my lower back, just under the belt line -- which had been completely covered. I finally thought to use calamine lotion and it cleared right up, but of course now I can't find my calamine and had to buy a new one. That's okay; I'm sure we'll be needing lots of calamine lotion once we actually live on the land!

We found the well!

Today Bryan and I went back to the property to take a few more photos and to deliver a letter to our new neighbors; we want to let them know that we're finally actually going to build and give them an idea of what to expect and when. So far, we know there will be a backhoe on Tuesday and Wednesday, and then not a lot of obvious change until February.

While we were there we started wandering, following a similar path to the one I took on Friday when I took most of the pre-clearing photos. This time, though, we started looking for the well. Yes, one of our wells was hiding somewhere in the dense shrubbery, and we do actually need to find it and to clear a path to it so it can be tested for potability and flow and, eventually, used. I had a decent idea of where it might be, since the boys and I visited the site when the well-digging equipment was there in 2006. I remembered going down the "road" along the western edge of the property and it curving around a bit. Now that road is thoroughly overgrown and mostly impassable in parts, though. Bryan and I approached it from a different angle, from the east, under the stand of firs. We could make out where the road was, and where it curved to the left. We could even see where it made a U turn to where the digging trucks had been parked. But that whole flat area where the trucks were was completely covered in a dense, prickly tangle of scotch broom (in itself easy to manage) interspersed with overgrown blackberry vines (ouch!). We picked and pushed and trampled and crawled and ducked our way through, sometimes only inches at a time, trying not to be stabbed, slashed and snagged by the blackberries. We were thoroughly unprepared for this adventure! We had come to the land intending only to take photos, so we had no clippers or tools of any kind. However, with a great deal of patience and perseverance, we actually found the wellhead! Well, Bryan found it; by that time, I was ready to turn back -- but he'd gotten the bug and was bound and determined. I think it helped that I was confident that we were looking in the right area, especially after we found the winding road. (Cue the Beatles song.)

Lo and behold, the wellhead is literally in the farthest southwestern corner of our property; it must be only steps from the property line, as our down-the-hill neighbor's yard was a few yards away, and the lot just to the west of us was even closer.

Somehow we managed to escape with no major injuries and only a couple of hearty "ouch!"es. Even those were only at the end, when we were growing weary of the whole adventure (and my thighs were fatiguing from crouching through so much underbrush). We'll know tomorrow whether we managed to escape without any poison oak; when we got home we thoroughly showered immediately and washed our clothes (only slightly damaged from blackberry snags).

And we found the well!

The wellhead.

The tangle of bushes we fought through to get to the wellhead (just behind me).
Too bad we didn't know there was an easier way!

Bryan hacked the rest of our way out with a large stick.

Pictures from the wilderness ...

Our property from the entrance looking east.

Entering the property. The black tube on the left is our electrical connection. The pile of debris on the right was left by the owners of the adjacent land (we assume). It may or may not be on our property; we can't find the property markers and need to resurvey.

The valley view from the northwestern edge of the property.

There are clear animal trails and scat across the property; this is one of several places where the deer bed down. I hope they return when this is all done!

I love the ferns, but they will be an unavoidable casualty when we clear the land. I'm assuming (hoping) they'll grow back. There are more on the land.

Standing in the middle of the land (more or less where we will build), east of the entrance, looking back toward the entrance. I just trekked through these bushes.

Looking south from just below the build site. Despite the blackberries and poison oak, it's so picturesque! 

For more photos of the land in its wilderness state, check out my Picasa album.

I think it's really happening ...

After a summer of interviewing lenders, architects, builders and design/build groups, we settled on our crack build/design team in September and had our first official meeting on Oct. 13 (and actually handed over money!). We have ridden a roller-coaster of a learning curve during this process so far, and we haven't even started! Just imagine how knowledgeable we'll be by the time it's all over ...

Although we've owned this land (off and on) since the late 90s, I never grasped what a great lot it is until this summer when we were showing the land to prospective builders and designers. I think I'd just never been there on a day that wasn't severely overcast; most of the time we visited in December, when we were home from Asia for the holidays. As it turns out, our view is awesome: mountains in the distance, a beautiful sunset, a valley laid out below us. Who knew?! It's exactly what I wanted and didn't know I already had. On top of that, the "ridge" part of Pumpkin Ridge is perfect: We have a slope that is apparently ideal for building a daylight basement. This can help us add square footage at the most reasonable possible price. Thank goodness! Given what we're trying to build, we need as many economical advantages as we can get. Because what we're trying to build is a seriously energy-efficient (passivehaus at the most ideal) home, as ecologically friendly as possible, with an open floor plan (for 13 family members at a time), a dedicated office, a dedicated guest room, and space for the boys and their friends/cousins to play. We can fit this into a reasonable-sized home (we're thinking up to 3000 sq ft), with good planning -- but our budget may not allow for that size of home with the kind of building practices that are important to us. And this is why we took such care in choosing a good team that works well together and understands what we're trying to do.

Today, Bryan and I met with one of our architects, Rick (Scott | Edwards Architecture), plus two guys from our building company (Hammer & Hand), Mac and Mike (easy to remember those names!). Our goal today was to figure out exactly what part of the land will be cleared next week. (No trees will be removed for now.) On Friday (Nov. 4), we're meeting with Sam Hagerman, our primary contact and founder of Hammer & Hand, Rick and Sid (Scott, of Scott | Edwards Architecture) to figure out where we want to put the house. We have a general idea, of course, but the house design will depend on knowing more accurately where it will face and what topography we're working with. No doubt this will be fine-tuned as time goes on, but it will give us a good starting point. However, the land is currently thoroughly overgrown with blackberries, poison oak, scotch broom and other shrubbery; it's quite an adventure to try to explore the land right  now. (I do like the ferns, though; I hope they grow back!) Today we braved the flora and figured out what area will be cleared on Tuesday and Wednesday. This includes not only the top part of the ridge, the flattest part, where we plan to build, but also the "road" (and I use this term very loosely) down to the main well, which was drilled in 2006 but is currently lost in the wilderness. We tried finding the well today, but the bushes were just too thick and prickly to get through.

A wonderful side effect of clearing the land is that we will no longer have to wash our poison oak-contaminated clothing and any exposed skin the moment we return from a visit up there. (I'm hoping that I managed to avoid contamination today, but only time will tell.)

I'm getting very excited -- and still nervous at the sheer scope of this project.