And the arrow points to ... GO!

My head is spinning: We can't do it. Yes we can. No, we really can't. Oh, wait! We can! Nope, it's too much, we just can't do it.

BUT. I did meet with our lending lady, and she was very helpful: It's all a matter of where we put the money that we have. (She didn't tell me that, specifically; I figured it out while talking with her.) Paying off our current mortgage is not the best use of that money, since we need actual cash -- lots of actual cash -- to build the house (and even if we wait a year, we'll still need that money). It seems that we have enough money to do this, weirdly enough, unless something catastrophic happens, though the budget will be squeaky-tight when all is said and done and we're settled in with the new mortgage. It's the new mortgage that I've been worrying about mostly, and I'm not sure whether my change of heart regarding affordability is because I've loosened up on what I think is affordable, or whether the new mortgage really is not as huge as I'd been predicting. I know for sure that every time I visit the land, the serenity of that spot fills me and helps me realize that whatever stress the new mortgage causes will be largely offset by living in such a peaceful setting. And the enthusiasm of the entire building team doesn't hurt, either. But if anyone needs a technical writer or an editor, I'd certainly be up for some part-time work ...

So we're going forward, and we're building a passive house. We met a passel of Hammer & Hand guys at the land on Friday, and they staked out where the house will be. Skylar has a solar gain app on his phone, and he scanned our treeline with it, pointing out which trees have to go as Sam marked them with orange spray paint. I got there late (after taking the boys to school) and when I made my way down to the guys I learned I was standing in my future bedroom (on my future bed). I can't wait to be standing on the same spot, but inside the actual house!

Now that we all know we're going ahead, things are starting to move. Next week will bring well potability and flow tests and tree removal estimates. I think it's time for me to turn in the actual loan paperwork, as well, to make sure I don't hold up the process once things are really rolling.

Holy cow. Here we go ...